HAVE PROBLEMS WITH COMMUNICATION? SINGTONES MODEL OF TALKING IMPROVES THE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AND HELP TO SOLVE MANY PROBLEMS

HAVE PROBLEMS WITH COMMUNICATION? SINGTONES MODEL OF TALKING IMPROVES THE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AND HELP TO SOLVE MANY PROBLEMS

Singtones - a kind of psychological thing which creates similar emotional mood of the partners according to the communication, bring them to so to said "the same wave". They help people to contact with each other, and also help the development of relationship.

First of all, the singtones, are the elements of communication. But, singtones they are not only the elements of communication, but all the details in communication and relationship that bring pleasure to the person while talking.

The singtones' communication is the positive and easy one, comfortable for both partners. As a rule, this is communication without quarrels and conflicts. The main element of singtones' communication is the total "Yes", like the way to find the agreement with the partner.

The list of singtones:

-- The signs of acception, the true smile

-- The positive mark of something, taking about something like about a right one thing

-- Compliments, sincere applauds elevation

-- Respect. The respect to the time of the partner, to the partner's thoughts, the partner's decisions

--Showing actively to be thankful

--Listening to the partner in an active way

--Not putting guiltiness up to the partner

-- Accepting the mistakes of yourself

-- Fulfilling the given promises

-- Humour that is orientated up to yourself

The singtones communication is the communication during which the conflict's talks are provided in the way that it does not appear to be a the self protection reaction of the partner, but works in the way of collaboration with the partner.

The ways of making this:

1. Constantation that you have the problem.

Let's pretend that you are getting ready for the exam there. And your neighbour

turn on the music loudly. So, to solve the problem, it is necessary to talk to the neighbour. The conversation should be started something like this: "Hey. Couldn't you help me about one thing?I am trying to get ready to exam. It is the most complicated exam..."

2. Describe the potential conflict according to the action that you are observing there, the possible consequaces and your feelings. It is very important to explain all these three steps to another person there: behavior, consequances, feelings. Example : "When I am listening to your music (bahaviour), I am distracted and can not get concentrated, it is hard to get ready for the exam (consequances), and I feel worried and sad (feeling).

3. Try not to let to another person to change the theme of the conversation.

When you are asking your neighbour about the tape-recorder, let's pretend she will answer you like this: "Come on, here everybody is listening to music loudly."

Do not switch to the talk about everybody! Get back to the beginning there. "I see that there are many noisy neighbours, and the noisy music normally does not disturb me much. But we have an important thing to do, and I hope you can help me there..."

4. Offer a good solution based on common values there. Example: "I think we both have the time when the small details stop us from getting considered on something. I see everything, but I ask you about a favour, and I hope you will help me, if you'll be so kind to make the music less loudly, while I am studing there".

5. Think there before meeting with another person to express the problem shortly and clear. Probably it is one of the greatest problems that being attracted with emotions, we talk too much and say the things that we should not say at all. And this way we can also irritate the opponent there.

So, before talking to that neighbour, think about what you have to say to that neighbour. Stop for a minute and make the repetition. Tell to yourself:"I have to constant the problem that I have there. And later follow the formula: "behaviuor-consequances-feelings.